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calzephyrPulling from my watcher's notes...
I can't believe I'm writing that there's a movie Jason Momoa can't save, but it was definitely Conan.
I love Jason Momoa! He's a beautiful man inside and out, but I moved on after about half an hour.
Honestly, the movie lost me in the first few minutes when baby Conan is born during battle (get it???). His mother is a warrior and wants to see her son before she dies. Her husband takes her knife, does a 2-second C-section, and lifts baby Conan to her so she can name him, and then she dies. It is the most ridiculous thing! I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of things, but not that😄
The first part of the movie is brutally hard to watch (get it???), toned almost entirely blue and black where we see young Conan as the best of the best! He can finish his chores and have time to participate in a young warrior's marathon, where he single-handedly takes down a group of baddies that made his companions flee. Ugh.
After a battle where Conan is orphaned, it moves to the present day in full colour (get it???) where Conan and his companion free a group of slaves. Conan later spots someone who ransacked his village and gets arrested so he can get closer to the man. I gave up when Conan stuck his finger in the man's missing nose.
Although this movie is in no way related to the Arnold Schwarzenegger films and is a new interpretation of the books--and not having read the books, I don't know how faithful either adaptation is--the original Conan movie is so good because the characters have so much depth. The film is as disciplined as Arnold's workout routine and every time I watch it I enjoy the storytelling and cinematography so much. It's not easy to take pulp content and make it a action masterpiece.
This Conan movie is sadly kind of cheap and visually messy. A terrible movie can still be enjoyed if it has some redeeming qualities--but I knew after half an hour this movie was not one of them.
I can't believe I'm writing that there's a movie Jason Momoa can't save, but it was definitely Conan.
I love Jason Momoa! He's a beautiful man inside and out, but I moved on after about half an hour.
Honestly, the movie lost me in the first few minutes when baby Conan is born during battle (get it???). His mother is a warrior and wants to see her son before she dies. Her husband takes her knife, does a 2-second C-section, and lifts baby Conan to her so she can name him, and then she dies. It is the most ridiculous thing! I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of things, but not that😄
The first part of the movie is brutally hard to watch (get it???), toned almost entirely blue and black where we see young Conan as the best of the best! He can finish his chores and have time to participate in a young warrior's marathon, where he single-handedly takes down a group of baddies that made his companions flee. Ugh.
After a battle where Conan is orphaned, it moves to the present day in full colour (get it???) where Conan and his companion free a group of slaves. Conan later spots someone who ransacked his village and gets arrested so he can get closer to the man. I gave up when Conan stuck his finger in the man's missing nose.
Although this movie is in no way related to the Arnold Schwarzenegger films and is a new interpretation of the books--and not having read the books, I don't know how faithful either adaptation is--the original Conan movie is so good because the characters have so much depth. The film is as disciplined as Arnold's workout routine and every time I watch it I enjoy the storytelling and cinematography so much. It's not easy to take pulp content and make it a action masterpiece.
This Conan movie is sadly kind of cheap and visually messy. A terrible movie can still be enjoyed if it has some redeeming qualities--but I knew after half an hour this movie was not one of them.
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Date: 2025-04-08 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-04-30 05:39 pm (UTC)